My response to an editorial in the current issue of The Jail Report

I just wanted to comment on Greg Rickabaugh’s editorial in the new edition of The Jail Report. In my opinion, spanking a child does not do anything but cause fear and help a child learn to be sneaky,
Discipline is something taught… you set rules and you teach them to accept the rules and explain to them why the rules were made and why they are important. Spanking is just a result of a parent’s anger for the rules being broken. I look at being a “kid” as a child’s job. They are in training for life and learning what is and isn’t acceptable behavior and how to become productive members of society and how to live successfully. Children live what they learn. How can they learn to be kind, caring and respectful people and have self-discipline and self-control if they are motivated by fear to behave?
Most examples of spanking I have witnessed has been in anger by the parent, something that parenting authorities that condone spanking say a parent is not supposed to do, and when done in public humiliates and
degrades a child.
Look at it this way….if your boss was to paddle you if you made a mistake, would you work hard to do a good job because you took pride in your work and wanted to be successful or because you were afraid of being hit?
Don’t you think the end result of the finished project would be much better if you did it out of pride and self-respect and strong ethics than if you did it out of fear?
Children need to be taught to respect others and also respect themselves by doing what is right and to have strong morals and ethics. This can be done by being a good example for them and also by teaching them without physical punishment. The goal should be NOT to have to punish in the first place.
I am also extremely baffled by the parents spank their kids for hitting another child….this to me is such a contradiction. How can you expect a child to learn that his fists (or worse) is not the way to deal with anger and frustration when you are hitting him while telling him not too? This sends a message of, “If you are bigger and stronger then you have the right to hit and bully”.
I grew up in a house that has so much wrong with it, that I couldn’t even begin to list it all. We had a father that would hit first and ask questions later. We feared him. Did that make us extremely well behaved children, then teenagers? No….it taught us to be careful that he didn’t find out, that is all.
I raised my children as completely different from my upbringing as I possibly could. I never wanted my children to fear me, I wanted them to do what was right because they were good kids, that had strong convictions in right from wrong.
With my oldest, who was born when I was 17, I made a lot of mistakes and when she was small I did spank her a few times…something I regret to this day, and have apologized to her for. All I did was scare my little girl and that was so wrong. My youngest has never been spanked.
I am proud t say I have awesome kids that are now happy, well adjusted young women who went through public school never getting into any trouble, and have never been into any legal trouble, My oldest is 29, happily married with a little girl of her own and is working on her Masters Degree, and my youngest is 18 and a freshman in college with a double major and double minor. They are kind, loving, giving, helpful, caring people. They also know how to deal with anger without resorting to violence.
I know down here in the south, most people spank their kids….if spanking works so well, then way is the jail report full of mug shots each week? I know of people in this area that did spank their kids well up to their teens and yet their kids have graced your publication as well.
The example that the gentleman in the article gave, the little boy in the supermarket….the problem wasn’t that he wasn’t being spanked, the problem is that his mother has failed to teach him correct and acceptable behavior.
If you polled the people that are in your paper, I bet most would say that yes, they were spanked. Was it successful in making them upstanding citizens?
We have enough violence, anger , fear and unpleasantness in our world, maybe it’s time people started working harder at teaching their children a non-violent and non-aggressive way of dealing with anger.

 

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